The concept of “wife material” has greatly evolved over the years. In the 1950s, a wife material was simply that nice woman who could take care of the kids and ensure that dinner is ready by 6.00 pm when the husband arrives from work. I’m pretty sure there are some people who could still consider this the perfect marriage but it is evident that times have changed. There are values that men, especially masculine men seek in women. I say masculine men because modern society has deeply eroded what it means to be a man. I know, you are already thinking I’m from the “Toxic masculinity club”. But it’s actually the opposite. In the old days (pre-18th century) men valued stoicism. That explains why many stoic male leaders existed before then and many books on stoicism were published in that era. Gender-based violence was literally unheard of in stoic Rome under Emperor Marcus Aurelius. Today domestic violence and gender-based violence, in general, is 93% more likely to be perpetrated by men. This tells you something happened to men along the way. Back to the topic, according to masculine men (myself included) surveyed for this article, these are some of the qualities that men seek in a wife:
1. She is physically attractive and has her shit together
As we all know, men are visual beings and are attracted to the physical. Physical attractiveness also makes it easier for men to develop intimacy with women because beauty simply turns men on. Although physical appearance attracts the man, it barely keeps the man. So, what keeps the man? Character keeps the man. Character is very broad but what really matters is having your shit together because your inner state deeply affects how you behave, love, and interact. If you are secure about who you are and are mature, then you are a man’s dream wife material. Even though you can’t possibly have your life figured out 100%, try and work on yourself. Get your emotions and finances in check, improve your self-esteem and develop emotional independence. No man pictures a wife material whose life is a mess.
2. She is intellectual and can hold a conversation
If a man really loves you, he will want to show off (the same applies to women as well). You should be smart and have the ability to talk to his friends, colleagues, and even his boss. I have a friend who was promoted to junior partner in a law firm after his boss met his girlfriend and his boss said and I quote “If he bagged her, then he surely has something about him that we need in this law firm.” My friend ended up proposing and marrying his girlfriend within 2 weeks – no kidding! Who wouldn’t want a girl like her – she is wife material! Well, I’m not saying that you should look for promotions for your men but the point is - just be smart and be able to talk to different audiences present in your man’s life. Also, life happens and it’s important to have a smart wife who can help you navigate through some challenges whether in work, business, or life.
3. She is lovable and brings out the best in a man
We all know at least one couple that always has constant drama. Masculine men are not after the drama but rather want to build a calm life with someone (calm does not mean boring). To achieve this, men opt for a wife who is lovable meaning she is emotionally present and loves back. She also has to be motherly in that she can raise a family and be able to bring out the husband in a man. A wife material also challenges the man to become better. Men love challenges and women should just call out our bullshit. If he is giving excuses for not doing something, call out this BS (in a subtle way) and challenge him to take the step and reassure him you will be there no matter what. That feeling of having a helper and a motivator is something every man desires in a wife.
4. She is loyal and most importantly, is her man’s friend
While this might sound cliché, but marriages that begin with friendships last longer. In the US the divorce rate is approaching 50% and you have to know that divorce is hectic especially after a long relationship. Cultivate an open space where friendship may thrive and stick by your man. Masculine men value loyalty. Personally, this is my number 1 value and I hold it very dear. Loyalty powers relationships and prevents one person from harming the other. Have you seen how dogs are loyal? This still amazes me. If you cultivate loyalty and friendship in your relationship, the other values come automatically, like honesty and integrity. This is a key quality that any wife material must have.
I hope you have learnt a thing or two from this post. I surveyed 15 men for this article and got the four best qualities that men seek in a wife material; I call them the fantastic four. If you have any questions or comments about this post, feel free to post them in the comment section below and I’ll get back as soon as I can. Share this post and spread the fantastic four gospel. Cheers!
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